Are You Part of the Problem?

One day when I was a university student, I called home, distraught over something that at the time seemed monumental. I felt like I couldn’t go on in a new city broke and struggling in my classes. Fully expecting my dad’s compassion, I explained that I was doing all of this for him. Well, needless to say, I was taken by surprise when he said that if I was doing it for him, then maybe I should quit. I cried in anger as I put the phone down. Then, I asked myself some pretty important questions. I had wanted him to blame for the situation I was in, not wanting to accept responsibility for decisions I had made. Sure, he had expectations of me, but I had willingly agreed. This exchange was one of the first times as an adult that I remember doing some serious self-examination and really accepting responsibility for my own actions.

Accountability is a tough topic for many, at least sometimes, and beginning with yours truly. Yet, I have discovered that accepting responsibility for our choices, the consequences and our lives is one very crucial indication of spiritual maturity.
Over the years I’ve seen people who have experienced deep, heartbreaking trials and situations. Some overcome them and many have not. I do have to add that sometimes people have come through situations where they had pain inflicted upon them, no fault of their own. In circumstances like these, it’s remarkable to see how many of these people turn to the Lord and allow Him to transform their lives into something beautiful, truly exchanging beauty for ashes.

However, there are other situations where people make choices, but find every way possible to blame someone else, even God for the consequences of their bad choices. They blame parents, spouses, their children, and God for things that they very well may have been instrumental in bringing into motion.
I am reminded of Gideon questioning God about the problems he and his nation faced. In Judges 6:13, Gideon says, “Oh my Lord, if the Lord be with us, why then is all this befallen us? And where be all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt? but now the Lord hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites.” However, what Gideon didn’t acknowledge was that the people had brought trials upon themselves when they decided to disobey and disregard God.

We have to be so careful to examine ourselves, especially when problems come. We need to really look to ourselves first so that if we have sinned in some way, we can repent and move forward. Many times, we get stuck in the problem, and unfortunately, some may even rebel or backslide because they’re so deep into how others have caused the problem, never seeing or acknowledging their part.
It’s really interesting raising young children because sometimes they don’t want to accept responsibility for their actions. My husband and I often find ourselves sitting them down, explaining to them the importance of being accountable for their part in the situation. We know that having a foundation rooted in being accountable to God first is one that will carry them a long way.

Romans 14:12 says, “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.” I am reminded that I alone will have to give account for the words I speak, the life I live, the woman, wife, and mother I am. It’s a heavy charge, but we must take responsibility when we are wrong, and we have to remember that we are accountable to God. When we’ve sinned, we should repent and press forward, knowing that we are then forgiven. The consequences may be there to deal with, but what freedom there is when we are able to face our mistakes. It really is so important so that we don’t make the same mistakes again. People who erroneously blame other people for all the wrongs in their life tend to repeat the same mistakes again and again.
On a final note, I feel compelled to address anyone who may have not been responsible for the consequences he or she is dealing with. No matter what has happened to you, trust the Lord to remove the pain, heartache, guilt, and anger. Lay it at Jesus’ feet. He knows and He cares. He doesn’t want you to spend the rest of your life in the shadow of the pain, hurt and anger. Take what’s happened and use what you’ve learned from the experience to glorify God and help somebody else.

So, do you find yourself blaming other people a lot of the time? Can you start looking to yourself first? Drop me a line. . .

How Did You Just Say That?

Lately, things have been so busy, and quite frankly, I've wondered if there's something wrong with my brain since I can't seem to remember to even write things down(lol)! I'm accustomed to committing most things to memory and lately that memory has failed me too many times. Can someone tell me how you forget to put dates in your BlackBerry, forget to check phone messages, or how in the world does someone read the calendar wrong? Well, I'm guilty as charged.

Unfortunately, instead of rising to the scheduling challenges appropriately, I have had times of irritability, frustration, and exhaustion. Heard of that show Snapped? Yesterday my sons were goofing off in the grocery store, and well, never mind. . .

I have realized that compartmentalizing can be so wrong when it comes to spirituality. What do I mean? Let me ask forgiveness for those who may be clueless as to what I'm talking about, but I have an inkling that there may be a few of you who can identify.

I have discovered that while going to church, Bible study, and Sunday school and even doing daily devotions and prayer, I can still sometimes not integrate the spiritual application to my life--especially when the pressure is intense. So, I may say something a little sharp, rationalizing that, "Hey, I'm under a lot of stress!" Bottom line, it's not always what we say, but often, how we say it.

I came across these verses in James 3:13-16. "Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him show out of a good conversation his works with meekness and wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work." What struck me here is that our conversation should be good and be a result of our meekness and wisdom that has come from relationship with God.

James 3:17-18 explains, "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace."

We can have good intentions, but the pressures of life can get our priorities out of order. We may not even say anything wrong, but the problem may be HOW we say it. We have to submit ourselves fully to the Lord because we know that He resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Part of the problem with blowing off steam in a negative way, I've come to realize, is because we get an inflated sense of self and pride. What we want and feel we need becomes more important than anything else. We feel frustrated and overwhelmed and simply let go.

Staying humble and surrendering all things to the Lord will give our lives the balance that we need to handle the stress and chaos of everyday life. Consciously integrating and applying the Word into all areas of our lives, especially stressful areas can really expose if we have wisdom that comes from God. The evidence is clear. We sow peace, righteousness, and as the scripture says, we're "easy to be entreated."

So, maybe it's not what you said, but HOW did you say that? Was it with gentleness and did it provoke a peaceful reaction? Drop me a line. . .

Are You on the Road to Nowhere?

Late last night while unpacking, I was listening to a show on TBN, and the narrator repeated the line, "the road to nowhere." We've all heard the line, but it was interesting to think about it as the narrator explained, in a spiritual context. I think he said that he quoted someone as saying, "The road to nowhere is a tough road to build."

I couldn't help assessing my own life and the things that I value. How many of those things that I'm spending my time "building" are actually fruitful? How much of what I spend my time doing and thinking about is really on a road to nowhere?

Instantly, I thought of how much time I spend wanting things. Even as I watched the show, I complained to my husband that we needed new bedroom furniture without even thinking about it until now. I'd like to think I'm out of the ordinary, but it seems to be all around. Most people have an insatiable desire for something other than what's really lasting and eternal--guess it's the flesh and human part of us that must be continually put under submission.

So, maybe for you it's not stuff, maybe it's food (another one of my struggles--lol). Maybe it's power, position, or fame. Maybe you have an unquenchable thirst for others' approval. Whatever we crave and yearn for, however, must be examined and the filter we need to use should be the Word of God.

There are just so many scriptures that speak to this but in Matthew 6:19, Jesus says, "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal; For where your treasure is, there will be your heart also." Down several verses, Jesus continues and says that "Ye cannot serve God and mammon" (Matthew 6:24). (Mammon here simply means money.)

Now, I'm sooo NOT saying that we should be poor, with no position or power, but I am saying that we need to keep our priorities in check. Whether it's getting money, position, power, prestige, material things, food, drugs, or whatever, even excessively obsessing over your health or looks, it all is fruitless and can lead to a road to nowhere if we're not connected to the true vine of Jesus Christ.

People who are truly connected to the vine of Jesus Christ are so easy to spot. They are secure and happy people. They don't struggle and strive against people because they recognize that the battle we are in is a spiritual one, so they fight spiritual warfare. They rest comfortably in who God made them and what the Lord has blessed them with--they are the best people in the world to be in fellowship with.

I am checking myself, constantly making sure that I'm on a road to fruitfulness and abundance in Christ. One of the worst things any of us can do is to deceive ourselves into thinking we're on a good path only to find we're on a self-righteous journey that lead us to an eternal abyss.

So what road are you on? Drop me a quick line. . .

Are You Like a Box of Chocolates?

"Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get." Remember that great line from Forrest Gump? Sure, it's corny, but it's true. We really don't know the twists and turns ahead, but we can still savor the sweetness out of even the most adverse situations when we are connected to Him, the true vine.

So, life can be like a box of chocolates, but are we supposed to be like a box of chocolates, always keeping people guessing about our next response? I have nothing against anybody having a little mystery, but I'm talking about MOODINESS! It's this green-eyed monster that sneaks up on me at times and launches nasty attacks (gggrrrrrr!) Ha! Wouldn't this be easier to address if we could say that we just had no control over our moods?

Well, unless there is a medical issue there, moodiness is something that can be controlled when we are under Christ's control. (Christ can regulate ALL issues (medical, etc) but I'm not including that here.) Okay, so what am I speaking of exactly? I'm talking about the moodiness that causes us to say things like, "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed." "I'm not in a good mood." Or, maybe you don't say anything. Maybe you just have a crazy or mean look that tells others not to cross you. Whatever it may be for you, people who have trouble with moodiness know exactly who they are.

This topic certainly wouldn't come up if I hadn't experienced people being moody with me. Okay, okay. . .(deep breath) I can admit it--I can be a moody person at times. We can all come up with excuses for the moodiness. When life isn't meeting our expectations. . . when we don't feel well. . .somebody has treated us unfairly . . .we are tired. . . we received bad news, . . .hormones. . . and I could go on and on and on. The thing is, we can try to come up with excuses for it, but when we are anchored in Christ, there is NO excuse!

Part of abiding in the vine is having faith and being obedient to God's Word. We are not to be tossed to and fro by life's ups and downs. None of us can be effective witnesses for Christ when we're moody. It's so easy to be elated when life is great and to sink to debilitating lows when we're suffering or tragedy strikes.

So, how should Christians respond to life's ups and downs? Through our connection to the vine, Jesus Christ, we can transcend life's circumstances with joy. Jesus says, "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full" (John 15:11). When things are up, we won't be caught in a deceptive and temporary high. Conversely, we won't sink down to depressing lows if remain connected to the vine. Our lives should be intertwined with His so closely that He can carry us through the storm and stabilize us through both the good times and the bad.

This is getting a little longer than I had wanted but only because it's an issue I struggle with at times. Still, I want to add that surrounding yourself with others who don't feed into the moods can be helpful. Watch your friends and acquaintances and remember that iron sharpens iron.

Let's go to the next level and experience the real and constant joy of abiding in Him. Let's also make sure that people know what to expect from us. They can expect the Lord's loving kindness, tender mercy, and His joy--no matter what the circumstances are.

Have a blessed day!

Have You Died Today?

Thank you for the responses from last week's blog. It's so encouraging to hear from you. It sounds like so many of you are truly abiding in the Vine.

There's nothing like a little dose of illness in our physical bodies to remind us of how fragile we really are. Call me a baby, but almost every single time I get the flu, I wonder inside, "Am I going to make it, Lord?" Well, this past week, I, along with my three children, were stricken with a good old-fashioned case of the flu. The vile bug caused havok on all of us, and my prayers seemed to hit the ceiling, at least for several days anyway. As the fog clears, I am so very thankful for my health and for the health of my children--and yes, the not so gentle reminder that I should be ever so grateful for it each day.

I'm digressing a bit, but I think of all the people in the world suffering in their physical bodies, who can only pray that they'd only have something like the flu to tussle with--they're afflictions sometimes painfully cruel and often terminal. I pray that the Lord will supernaturally touch all those who desperately need the Lord's healing and deliverance.

Anyway, the fragility of our bodies should be a constant reminder to us that we will all physically experience death (unless the Lord returns). In a way, this physical death parallels our spiritual lives. Our flesh must die if we are to glorify the Lord and access eternal life.

In John 12:24, Jesus explains the necessity of his impending death. He says, "Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." So, unless a grain of wheat is buried, it cannot produce grain. Jesus died to pay the penalty for our sins and to exemplify His power over death. Isn't it incredible that through His death, we all have access to eternal life--just like that one seed produces many grains.

Similarly, when we let go of our selfish desires and self-centered ways (our flesh) and glorify God, we are released from the bondage of sin and death--they have no hold on us. We are free to worship, glorify, and serve the Lord with all of our beings, which is by the way, the reason we are here. Moreover, when we die to self and serve the Lord, we will draw others to Him, producing "much fruit."

We live fruitless lives when we live for ourselves only. All around we can see others consumed with attaining power, finding security, seeking pleasure, and making material wealth. Just like that corn of wheat that falls on the ground, abides alone
and dies, we will have a barren and desolate life without complete and utter reliance on the vine.

So, as awful as sickness is, it can be a reminder to us that we are not in control of our own lives. It doesn't matter how we can sometimes deceive ourselves into thinking that we "call the shots." Whether we're as strong as an ox or faced with the heavy weight of suffering a physical illness, our trust and reliance must be in Him.

So, how about out you? Have you died to self lately? Drop me a line. . .

"How Self-controlled Are You?" Temperance, a Fruit of the Spirit

Remember when "The Jerry Springer Show" was the talk of the town? Most of us probably hadn't seen much like it. Now, however, whether flipping through channels on television, surfing on the Internet, or taking a shopping trip tn the mall, it's commonplace to hear or see an embarrassing lack of self-control in people sometimes. So many people, say, write, or do what they feel with no regard for the consequences. I can't even count the number of times I've heard, "That's just the way I am." I might as well admit it, I have been guilty of saying this very thing and more than once!

However, our lives should reflect the image of Christ, so how we really should be must be aligned with Him and His Word. Temperance or self-control is the last fruit of the Spirit, one that is not really valued much in society today, but of great value in the kingdom of God.

I often think of Moses and what a great man of God he was. Still, he had a problem with self-control. After 37 years in the wilderness, the Israelites had experienced God's goodness and provision over and over again. Still, they complained and rebelled against their leader, Moses. Without water and food, the Israelites complained that God had surely left them to die. (See Numbers 20)

When Moses and Aaron went to seek God at the door of the tabernacle, the glory of the Lord appeared to them. The Lord spoke to Moses, telling him to take his rod before the people and simply to speak to the rock so that water would come forth. We know the story, Moses struck the rock out of anger not only once, but twice. The interesting thing about this is that Moses probably felt justified in his anger. The people's lack of belief apparently frustrated him immeasurably. Still, he was severly punished by God for his disobedience to God's explicit instructions. He was not allowed to enter into the Promised Land for a moment of anger and lack of self-control.

It can be disconcerting for us to think about the consequences for not exercising self-control, but it is a reality. As Christians, we are models for others, and when we give in to our emotions and react in a way that's displeasing to God, even for a moment, we can reap devastating results.

Reading the Word and praying daily is imperative to keep the flesh under submission. I can tell you that my nature is to be highly sensitive and highly emotional, which has it's positive points, but also has tons of negatives. To keep myself centered and grounded, I have to be in relationship with the Lord at all times. I can admit that I don't always succeed, but even in this, I repent and do better, always pressing towards the mark.

We're in a very serious spiritual battle, and Satan wants to deceive us into thinking that there are no consequences for disobedience and the lack of self-control. However, we can't go through life saying and doing whatever we feel. We are called to a higher place. Our direction must come from the living God, and the words we speak and actions we take should be out of obedience to Him and His Word.

Like all of the fruits of the Spirit, temperance is accessible to us as a gift of God's Holy Spirit. We can work to try to control ourselves, but only a supernatural indwelling can equip us with the ability to attain this mighty gift of God.

So, how about you? How's your self-control lately? Drop me a line. . .

Are You "Blinging" on the Inside? Meekness, a Fruit of the Spirit

I have to admit it, I love bling. Rhinestones and chunky jewelry make me smile. I have a pretty pink leather suit laden with sequins, and my quest for the perfect shoes brings me sheer joy. I'm what some people call, a "girly girl," in spite of my rather mature age (smile). Yet, there is much more to me than the outward shell.

In Peter's instructions to wives in I Peter 3, he tells us, "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."

There are many interpretations of what I Peter 3:3-4 means, but one thing is crystal clear. Inner beauty is of much greater value than anything we can do to adorn ourselves on the outside. A meek and quiet spirit is worth a "great price." What I want to emphasize is that the scripture says a "meek and quiet spirit." I believe that meekness is nearly synonymous with humility, modesty, and gentleness. Sometimes coming across women with traits like these are quite frankly, like finding a needle in a haystack.

Hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I've been acquainted with a few dry-faced, quiet women in the church who carry a spirit of heaviness that can cover all they come in contact with like a wet blanket. They are just downright mean. With just a look, they can make you tremble (ha!). Okay, you get the picture. . .

The thing is, the transformation has to be from within first. When your spirit is in alignment with the Lord's, you will dress the outside appropriately. Whether you believe that makeup is out for you or not is so NOT the issue. Do whatever the Lord instructs you to do. You won't need to feel your worth based on how much your clothes cost or what designer you wear. You won't need to get plastic surgery to make yourself feel worthy. On the flip side, you won't feel superior to others because you "look holy." When you are meek and humble in spirit, I believe you attempt to see the heart, the goodness, and the value in others.

You can like nice things, but you're never a slave to them. Whether it's clothes, your physique, car, or home, there is balance. You have a life that's in submission to God, and because of that, you don't weigh superficial things above the things that matter most.

We're bombarded with images, especially from the media, that are point blank diametrically opposed to women having meek spirits. Meekness is a fruit of the Spirit that is almost equivalent in the world to being a doormat. However, we know that true meekness isn't being a doormat. When a woman is meek, there's true humility and a graciousness that only comes from being saved. As in all the fruits of the Spirit, this too is possible with relationship with the true and living God, reading the Word, and prayer.

So, ladies, let's make sure that while we're trying to find shoes to go with that suit, that we are "blinging" on the inside and radiating the love of Christ to all that we touch with the femininity, gentleness, and quiet strength that the Lord has given to each of us.

What are your thoughts?