Does the Black Church Really Keep Black Women Single?

I got an e-mail from a friend who forwarded a CNN article to me that really has me fired up. In fact, this devotional blog is going to be very “out of the box” for me but hopefully relevant to some. I have extracted the gist of the article by Liane Membis below, but you can read it for yourself at:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/10/black.church.women.single/index.html?hpt=C2

"Cooper, a writer for the San Francisco Examiner, recently made claims on her blog SurvivingDating.com that predominantly black protestant churches, such as African Methodists, Pentecostal, and certain denominations of Evangelical and Baptist churches are the main reason black women are single. Cooper, who is black and says she is not strictly religious, argues that rigid beliefs constructed by the black church are blinding black women in their search for love."

The article also includes a statistic that 55% of African Americans “interpret scripture literally.” Of course, the implication is that those of us in this group are misinterpreting the Word of God by striving to live our lives according to it. A few in the article further suggest that women are limiting their potential for relationships by having high biblical standards (being equally yoked).

To say that “[r]igid beliefs are blinding black women in their search for love” is an example of I Corin. 1:27, which reads, “But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty.” This a flawed deduction and dismisses many other factors that aren’t even brought up. Most importantly though, this is a conclusion that the world has come to that has no spiritual validity.

The Word goes on to say, “But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption” (I Corin. 1:30). Christians strive to make wise choices, but no amount of rational or intellectual thought, statistics or anything else can supercede Christ’s work on the cross and the godly wisdom that only comes from Him, the true life source. For believers, our final authority is the unadulterated Word of God. Yes, we take it literally.

Furthermore, I Corin. 2:11-13 says,
For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of a man, which is in him? Even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. Which things also we speak, not in the words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.

Those who aren’t Christians can’t understand the lives of believers. The Word and lifestyle is silly and foolish to them. It is only through the power of God’s Holy Spirit that we can understand and obey His Word.

Again, the remainder of chapter two in I Corinthians explains that only by the Holy Spirit can we attain insight into the plans and thoughts of God. The closer we get to Christ, the more peace, love and joy we have. His purpose for our lives can be disclosed to us through interpreting the Scripture fully and literally.

I was very disturbed by many points in the article, but mostly for attempting to tear down the church and for subtly appearing to persuade women who are praying for a good mate to lower their standards. As they say, the devil is a lie!

The problem with the increasing number of single black women is not because of a true, Bible believing faith-based church or the Word of God.

The Word says that “Eye hath not seen, nor hear heard, neither have entered the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” The key to having fulness of joy is staying in His presence and in His Word.

I would love to hear from you on this topic. Drop me a line on the Abiding in the Vine Group page.

Blessings,
MaRita

Need a Promotion?

If you’ve ever felt slighted, overlooked, or boxed in, whether it’s on the job, in the church, or in your personal life, you’re not alone. I would venture to say that most of us have at some time or another. I remember having a supervisor once who seemed very unable to do her job well. She always very politely gave me all of her “dirty” work on top of my own responsibilities. This supervisor consistently caved under pressure and blamed others for her own lack of competence. She was more qualified on paper, but I was more equipped in other ways.

Frustrated beyond words, I remember praying that the Lord would strengthen me to deal with her. I also prayed fervently when other co-workers slammed her with unkind words behind her back. Admittedly, every fiber of my being wanted to indulge myself and join in the worthless chatter, but I resisted the temptation.
Instead, I obediently did what she asked without complaining and murmuring, which is monumental for me. I tried to help her in every way that I could, and when she made what I thought to be demeaning comments towards me, quite uncharacteristically, I didn’t retaliate.

God had given me the endurance to go through, but I wondered secretly if anyone recognized that I was the one doing the work. She seemed to be getting the credit for the good work I was doing. I mean, while she was sipping tea from a porcelain cup, adorned with roses and gold plated rims (literally), I was meeting with clients, working computer programs, and crunching the budget.

One day on my break, I went out to my car and cried in frustration, praying that God would give me strength. A very kind lady that I trusted and had confided in told me quite simply that promotion comes from God. That stuck with me, and at the time, I didn’t even know the scripture from Psalm 75:6, 7 which reads, “For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor the west, nor from the south. But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another.”

I realized at that moment that I had to trust God’s sovereignty. It boiled down to my faith. I had to trust Him, even when it came to things that I thought may have been too minor for Him and even when it looked like He wasn’t showing Himself to me the way I wanted Him to.

Over the years, I’ve learned that promotion is exaltation. Exaltation for Christians only comes through service. Remember when Jesus gave the Beatitudes in Matthew 5? The poor in spirit get the kingdom of heaven, and the meek inherit the earth. People who hunger and thirst after righteousness are going to be filled. Those that are merciful will receive mercy. Another says that the pure in heart will see God and the peacemakers are called the children of God. You are elevated when you are humble and in service, which is quite opposite of the world’s definition of success!

We can never earn a promotion by manipulation, retaliation, jealousy, or backbiting. As Christians, we have to know that God is in control, and we must serve. In God’s timing, promotion may come. When it does, we have to remember that we received that promotion and/or exaltation, not because of who we are, but because of who God is.

If we become anxious while we are waiting, we will get tired, frustrated, and miserable. Galatians 6:9 says, “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

We just need to make sure that God has truly called us to the position or promotion that we desire. Our will must line up to His will for us. I’ve seen many people striving for positions that God has clearly never meant for them to have. However, if God has let you know that the promotion is yours, it will happen. Trust Him an keep on serving with a good attitude.

That supervisor I mentioned ended up quitting and I was offered the job. The Lord blessed me with the promotion I had waited for, and He’ll do the same for you.

Be sure to check the Abiding in the Vine Facebook Group page out and leave a comment. (Just type Abiding in the Vine in your search tab on FB.) Let’s get the message boards hopping with discussion from you, and invite friends to join!

Trusting Him With You,
MaRita